Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Ramblings

Suicide. Just seeing the word written down makes my stomach churn. Using it in the sentence “My brother committed suicide” is even worse. Or at least it is some days. At other times it feels like I’m talking about someone else. After all, this is the kind of thing that happens to other people, isn’t it?

Except this time, we are other people. This did happen to us. My brother did take his own life on a Tuesday afternoon in May.  We might never be able to comprehend, but we do have to find a way to accept, and slowly figure out how to move forward. But how do you get back to normal when normal has no meaning any more?

But like the smart bastard he always was, he even wrote that down for us, in the form of a song he wrote years ago about the death of a friend:

When everything you have to say is said, and courage is a word
Yesterday takes your hand, tomorrow goes to bed
I hope you find your strength, I hope you’ll be my friend
And If I had a wish, then beggars would be riding round the bend

And you can hold him in your mind
And you have life, and you have time
And he will smile every time you dry your eyes

I’ll never forget the day you stood and told them all the truth
Even though the world had moved out from under you
There’s so much to mend, so many things amiss
And if I had that wish, then beggars would be riding round the bend

And you can hold him in your mind
And you have life, and you have time
And he will smile every time you dry your eyes

No you don’t have to hate the world, you only need to breathe
And you don’t have to find a reason, you only need to be
And fate is just a fucking word when love is all you need
Life will always sing a song for spirits that are free (that are free)

And you have life, and you have time
And he will smile every time you dry your eyes

And you can hold him in your mind
And you have lived, and you have cried
And he will smile every time you dry your eyes


Miss you, A x

Saturday, 13 October 2012

Laineee the wannabe photographer

Despite how it appears from the complete lack of blog activity, my photo a day project has actually gone surprisingly well. However, instead of posting here, I found a rather nice site to host my daily project, and the results can be found here: Laineee's calendar.

While the quality of the photos has been mixed to say the least, the whole project has rekindled my love of photography and inspired me to want to improve and find a way to consistently take decent photos. With that in mind, I decided to give a photography composition workshop a try. Although the results are mixed, I definitely learned some things that I will try to bear in mind on my future travels. With any luck, when I come back from New Zealand I will have photos I can be proud of.

That said, I looked back at my photo history with my new found knowledge and found a few I am extremely happy with. Maybe there is hope for me after all!

Monday, 2 January 2012

2012 in pictures - 2nd Jan

So far, so good, albeit today's picture is another lazy effort really. Which is apt, because it is a picture of my choice of how to spend a lazy evening.




However, I have decided that I won't be using my blog for my daily picture after finding this website: Shuttercal . I like the idea of seeing my pictures in calendar form, and am hoping that this might spur me on to keep up with the project. Also, there is far less pressure in just uploading a pic to a calendar rather than having to come up with a blog post every day. See, there's me being all lazy again.....

Sunday, 1 January 2012

2012 in pictures - 1st Jan

Last year, I was impressed by a number of people on my Twitter timeline who managed to stick to taking a photo a day for an entire year. While thinking that it was a marvellous idea, I knew there was absolutely no way I had the staying power to do it myself. Except that I've somehow allowed a friend (@Mistyuk11) to talk me into doing something similar for 2012. I still think that I won't last any more than a week or so - certainly my record in keeping this blog up to date last year suggests that I have no chance - but I'm at least going to give it a try.

For the 1st of January, I decided to go with something entirely predictable - a review of my 2011 in theatre:


Sadly, I can't promise any improvement as the year goes on... but I do promise I'll try!

Thursday, 18 August 2011

Fringe Fragments - Part 1


In which I drone on about some shows I saw at this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival.....

First and foremost, let me preface this post by saying that I am not in any way shape or form a reviewer, but I did want to put down some thoughts on my experiences of this year's Fringe festival. And since I'm not a reviewer (and a relative newbie to the world of theatre), these thoughts are as likely to be about the weather, or how comfortable the seats are at a given venue, as they are about the performances I've seen.

Every Fringe show operates the infuriating practice of unreserved seating, so if you are seeing anything in one of the big rooms you have to queue outside at least 30 minutes before the scheduled start time if you want to secure a decent seat. Which, since it's Edinburgh, means standing outside in the rain for quite a large part of your day. And sometimes even during the show.... but more of that later.

Sarah Millican - Assembly Main Hall
Venue - This was my first visit to the Assembly Hall, and once I got over my initial amusement at seeing a bar set up in the courtyard of a building I know best as the venue for the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland, I had to admit it's a pretty decent venue for comedy (although I still prefer the now defunct Assembly Rooms on George Street). The space easily holds over 800 people without seeming overcrowded, the seats are very comfortable, and although a lot of them are side on to the stage this doesn't seem to matter in a show like this one. 

Show - Sarah has become a bit of a shining star of the British comedy scene over the past couple of years, thanks to numerous TV appearances on programmes such as Live At The Apollo. Anyone expecting similar fodder in her live routine, however, might just be in for a bit of a shock. While Sarah's schtick even on TV is to fool the audience into thinking she's demure before launching into some crude anecdotes about relationships. Freed from the constraints of broadcasting guidelines, this is something she pushes even further and I expect managed to shock quite a few people who only know her from her television work - a few words did draw audible gasps from the audience. 
The premise of this show is that everyone can be defined as either being cautious or a risk taker, and urged us all to pick whether we were dodgems (cautious), or bumper cars (risk takers), and announcing that we would be able to cement these choices with the now obligatory Fringe badges at the end of the show . In revealing her own anxieties, Sarah was somewhat upstaged by a revelation from a girl in the front row which gave us probably the best line of the night.
Overall, this was a solid hour of feelgood comedy, albeit with few outright belly laughs. And for the record, I'm a dodgem.
4/5

Simon Callow in Tuesdays at Tescos - Assembly Main Hall
Venue - Although this is exactly the same room as Sarah Millican is playing to, something didn't quite work with the side stalls here. Most of the action is projected forward, so some of the impact was lost when viewed side on. I did still get wet queuing outside, and the seats were still really comfortable though.

Show - As you might expect, Simon Callow was mesmerising as the transexual Pauline, bringing you completely into her world, feeling her pain at the constant rejection by her father. However, I must admit there were a couple of bits that jarred slightly (possibly because I'm not smart enough to get them). Although this was a solo show, there was a pianist onstage throughout playing fragments of songs on an out of tune piano, and at times Pauline even 'danced' along. I'm sure this was meant to be a metaphor for something, but to me it was just a distraction from the story Pauline was trying to tell.
4/5

Ruby Wax: Losing It - Udderbelly's Pasture
Venue - Where to start with this one..... Another long queue outside (although thankfully the rain stayed off for the duration), and doors didn't open until the scheduled show start time - meaning that proceedings were running about 10 minutes late, which can be a big issue in Edinburgh if you have another show to get to afterwards. Seats were ridiculously uncomfortable - I'm about 5'6" and was struggling for legroom, so goodness knows how bad it must have been for anyone taller. And just to finish things off, by virtue of the fact that this venue is an upturned inflatable cow, noise from outside was clearly audible inside, all of which may have coloured my opinion of the performance.

Show - This is Ruby's account of her battle with mental illness, and her desire to get people talking about mental health in an attempt to remove the stigma attached to it. As she says, one in four of us will suffer from some form of mental illness at some point, so why are we still afraid to talk about it openly? Since this is Ruby Wax there is a lot of humour here, some of which doesn't quite hit the mark and as a result prevented me connecting with the material as much as I would have liked. Like Tuesdays at Tescos, although this is billed as a solo show Ruby is actually sharing the stage with a pianist, and unfortunately the clearly scripted asides between the two jarred slightly in my view. This undercut an otherwise moving and brave - and ultimately uplifting - show, and although I was checking my watch for the final 20 minutes of the 80 minute running time (thanks mainly to being ridiculously uncomfortable in my seat), one I would definitely recommend seeing if you get the chance.
4/5


Saturday, 21 May 2011

Shamelessly stolen blog post

I've been a bit quiet on the blogging front of late due to a lack of anything interesting to say. That hasn't changed, but I did come across this on another blog and thought I'd give it a shot myself.  The premise is answering a series of questions on the last 10 things you saw at the theatre - for the sake of variety I'm not including repeat visits, otherwise half of my top ten would be made up of the same show....

List the last 10 things you saw at the theatre, most recent first.


1. Clybourne Park
2. Thrill Me
3. In A Forest Dark And Deep
4. Godspell
5. Frankenstein
6. Celebrity Autobiography
7. King Lear
8. Wicked
9. Love Never Dies
10. End Of The Rainbow

Who was the best performer in number 1?
Couldn't single any of them out, this was definitely an ensemble piece.

Why did you go to see number 2?
Glowing reviews from a friend. It more than lived up to my expectations, go and see it if you get the chance.

Can you remember a line/lyric from number 3 that you liked?
Don't remember the exact line, but I was quite tickled by a joke about U2.

What would you give number 4 out of ten?
Difficult to rate this fairly as it was an amateur production, but I'm going to go with 6.

Was there someone hot in number 5?
A couple....

What was number 6 about?
Not really about anything, other than ridiculing the crazy things some celebrities say in the autobiographies.

Who was your favourite actor in number 7?
Derek Jacobi. He had me mesmerised from the minute he opened his mouth.

What was your favourite bit in number 8?
Rachel Tucker's riffs at the end of No Good Deed

Would you see number 9 again?
Hahaha!

What was the worst thing about number 10?
That Tracie Bennett didn't win an Olivier for her performance

Which one was best?
Can't pick just one, but top 3 would be Frankenstein, Love Never Dies and End Of The Rainbow

Which one was worst?
Probably slightly unfair of me, but I'm going to have to say Godspell.

Did any make you cry?
Love Never Dies and End Of The Rainbow

Did any make you laugh?
Quite a few, but especially Clybourne Park and Celebrity Autobiography

Which roles would you like to play in any of them?
Too many to list....

Which one did you have the best seats for?
All of them were damn good seats, except King Lear.

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Too old to share?

I got my first real taste of travel back in 1999 when, thanks to the generous donation of the cost of the airfare from my brother, I headed off to Australia for 6 weeks. As a poor, penniless graduate, my only accommodation option was hostels. For less than $20 a night, I got a place to kip between adventures. Sometimes it was even clean....

Radeka's Underground Hostel, Coober Pedy, 1999

Such was the success of this trip, and my ability to overlook sharing a smelly, noisy room with anything up to 10 other people, as well as multiple cockroaches and (on one memorable occasion) a lizard, I have continued to stay in hostels from time to time simply to make the money go further. And although you definitely get what you (don't) pay for, these have been some of the most memorable holidays I've had. I mean, who could forget a week of cold showers in Toronto in October, because there was an issue with the plumbing. Which also caused every sink in the building to regurgitate every time a tap was run, but it also had a bar with cheap booze, which more than made up for the water issues.

Melbourne Metro YHA, 2007


Last year, though, I had to rethink my view that a hostel bed is the best way to make the most of a long haul holiday. It all started out well enough. The Sydney Harbour YHA is quite possibly the best hostel I've stayed in. For $40 a night, I got an en-suite room that I only had to share with 3 other people. And to top it all off, I got this view thrown in:

Sydney Harbour YHA, 2010

Then I moved on to Melbourne, and things started to go wrong. The hostel wasn't quite as shiny and new (and clean) as Sydney, it was over a bar, and none of the rooms were en-suite. I could overlook the lack of shiny and new, but found myself struggling to deal with the noise from the bar, and with the shared bathrooms at the end of the corridor. Especially the noise from the bar. After two nights, I checked out early and moved to a hotel for my last night in Australia.

So why did I struggle so much to deal with hostels when I've almost been evangelical in my praise of the joys of the budget experience? Is it that I'm getting too old for hostels? Is it even possible to be too old to stay in a hostel? I didn't think it was, having met plenty of 'older' travellers over the years, but it certainly seems to me now that I'm in my 30s I can't quite bring myself to overlook the small things that didn't seem to matter 10 years ago. 

Someone has suggested that, rather than being too old to stay in a hostel, I'm now too posh, too middle class to *do* budget travelling. But I don't think that's it. I have no issue with bunk beds, with sharing a room with strangers - I've met some really interesting people that way, and did so again last year - but now that I'm just that little bit older, the things I value on holiday have changed. I'm not a 20-something party animal whose only concern is somewhere to crash. I want to make the most of my holidays (and by that I mean I want to see and do as much as possible during the day), so my main priority is that the room is quiet enough to allow a decent night's sleep (actually my main priority is not sharing it with cockroaches and lizards, but that's not the sort of thing that gets mentioned on the hostel websites) I suspect I could even still deal with a shared bathroom, provided I still got a good 8 hours. Yes, if I'm being completely honest, I would prefer the luxury of a private room with flatscreen tv, turndown service and marble bathroom, but my budget doesn't quite stretch to this every night of every trip.

Kowloon Shangri-La, 2010

So until it does, I'll carry on going for the budget option, just as long as it's not above a bar..... or already occupied by a lizard.